Drunken Nobodies
by choochooshoe
Summary: A collection of stories focusing on Axel and Demyx  and whoever decides to show up  while drunk! A ten-shot story, contains OCs in most chapters.
1. That fateful night, kind of

A/N: Hey, Midika, look! The machine works!

For everyone else, this a story I started writing a few days ago since I was talking about drunken Nobodies at the time. (Fun, right?) It focuses mainly on Axel and Demyx (with my OCs thrown in for fun) but others will appear, for sure! They (Axel/Demyx) are drunk in every chapter but I have a feeling that some of these things they would do sober…

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix, or anything I mention in this story.

Oh, Violet needed a video camera right now.

She and Clarise had been invited to a party that night and they invited their boyfriends, Demyx and Axel (respectively), along. Since the two guys had just turned 21, they thought it would be fun to start drinking. After only a few drinks, the boys were falling over everything and acting completely crazy!

That's when the hay ride started.

Figuring it would be nice and romantic, Violet and Clarise dragged their boyfriends onto the wagon. It started with a jerk and Clarise grabbed onto Axel to stay upright. He just laughed a little and held her close.

Now, this should have been romantic.

Too bad Axel saw something coming up alongside the road: COWS.

Once the wagon was near the cows, Axel yelled, "OOOOM!" It made Clarise let go of him and look to what he was yelling at. Cows. Of course.

Demyx was tired of sitting idly and began to yell with Axel. The once peaceful cows started to run away from the fence, most likely to get as far away from the 'scary noise' as possible.

After a moment, the girls thought 'what the heck' and yelled with Axel and Demyx. They had never had so much fun on a simple hay ride!

Lesson One: Not even cows are safe from drunken fun.


	2. No Big Mac for you!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, still.

Sports bars were the place to go, Xigbar said.

He knew Roxas would end up taking his friends there after hearing that; he so did.

So, again, Axel and Demyx got drunk. Luckily it was Roxas who drove everyone.

On the trip home, Demyx cried out that he was hungry. Being equally obnoxious, Axel complained loudly about the same thing.

Nearly growling after a few moments of the unbearable complaining, Roxas snapped, "Alright! I'll take us somewhere to a drive thru and you can get some food. But I hope you know you're paying." He glanced at Axel in his rear-view mirror. That pyromaniac always had a way of making Roxas pay for his food.

Roxas pulled the car into a Wendy's drive thru and stopped so that Axel's window was near the speaker.

"Hello, can I take your order?" The speaker crackled.

"Yeah," Axel looked at Demyx with a smirk, "we want two Big Macs!"

Demyx, thoroughly drunk, thought it was the funniest thing ever. He burst out laughing and Violet and Clarise had to keep him quiet so they could hear the person on the speakers.

"Um, sir, I'm sorry but we don't sell those here…"

"WHAT? What kind of place are you running that doesn't sell Big Macs?" At this point, Roxas had slammed his head onto the steering wheel. He sure had a great taste in friends.

Lesson Two: No food for inebriated pyros!


	3. My bubbles!

This one is probably my favorite out of all of them I've written. (I've got 7 done so far!) I hope you can picture this as well as I can, and I can totally see them doing this.

Disclaimer: Still, nothing. I do, however, own a very much cracked cell phone and it's driving me insane.

Violet must let Clarise come up with their evil plans more often. She had this brilliant idea to give Demyx and Axel bubbles next time they got insanely drunk.

It was quite possibly the funniest thing they'd ever seen.

A lot of the hilarity was due to Xigbar, who decided to come party too. Once all the boys were drunk, Clarise whipped out a tube of bubbles and blew just one.

Demyx spotted it first. He began to creep up to it, as though it was his prey. He was about to catch it and…

It popped.

By this time the other guys has noticed. They all wanted bubbles, and they wanted them now.

Clarise blew more bubbles and handed Violet another tube of bubble-stuff to help out. After the yard they were standing in was sufficiently covered, the two stopped to see their masterpiece.

Xigbar was sipping from a bottle of beer and casually flirting with each bubble that floated his way. He told them things like they were looking especially beautiful tonight, or something of the like.

Axel was laughing at the bubbles. He was using his fire powers to set them alight and watch them burn, sometimes in different colors. Exactly what was in the bubble solution to make some burn bright green will remain a mystery.

Demyx's use for the bubbles was by far the best. He, somehow in his drunken state, figured out that bubbles contained water, and since he could control water he could control bubbles. He brought a large group of bubbles close together to create one gigantic bubble, then sent it flying towards Axel.

"Dance, bubbles, dance!" He yelled.

Axel turned around to see what was going on, but it was too late. The enormous bubble ran into him and popped, getting him soaked in the sticky bubble residue.

Lesson Three: Don't tease Demyx, ever. One day when you're not expecting payback he just might send a giant bubble your way.


	4. Don't do it, Saix

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, from Kingdom Hearts to the songs used. Too bad, I want Demyx…

"Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world. She took the midnight train goin' anywhere."

Ah, karaoke night. This very popular song for karaoke came on and Axel and Demyx ran up to sing.

"Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took the midnight train goin' anywhere."

The two of them, drunk again, were sharing verses and actually not sounding half bad. Violet and Clarise were in the small audience, enjoying the 'show.'

That is, until Saïx walked in. He wanted to mess with the two guys on stage so midway through the song he went to the jukebox and changed it.

"What the-" Axel was about to get mad, but then he heard the song. "Demyx, is that…?"

"I think so!" He answered.

The two began to do a (very gay) dance together, and only then did the audience realize what the song was.

"It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!" The two cheered as they continued the crazy dance.

Lesson Four: Leave things alone, because if you change a song on those two, you might see things no one should ever have to experience.


	5. Fix That NOW

"Did you guys fix that shed like you were supposed to?"

Uh-oh. Violet was angry. This was very, very bad.

"Define 'fix'…" Demyx said, trying to get off the hook. The alcohol in his system wasn't helping him any, though.

"Here's how it went down," Axel explained and pointed to the shed. "That thing is-"

"GONNA get done." Violet had a threatening look in her eyes.

Axel put up his hands in defeat. "Sheesh, fine. Let's go, Demyx." They headed over to the shed and grabbed the wood and tools placed next to it.

"This sucks." Demyx complained. "I just wanna chill out!"

"Yeah, let's just get this done."

~30 minutes later~

Vioelt was going to check on the boy's progress since it was getting near dusk and Clarise tagged along, too.

"Are you all done yet- AGH!" She screamed (Clarise did too) as the two guys ducked as a hammer flew right where their heads had just been.

The girls stormed over to the shed. "Exactly WHAT is going on?" Violet demanded.

Demyx looked up to her with cute eyes. "Well, we didn't feel like working, so Axel thought we'd play darts- with our tools!"

Lesson Five: Sober men generally don't do any work. What makes you think a drunk one will?


	6. Apparently, he's flattered

"Hey, I got an idea!" Axel said as he took a drink of his beer.

Demyx turned to him and said, "Oh yeah? What is it?" He was so bored that he'd probably go for anything.

"Let's imitate people. That's always fun and we haven't been sufficiently annoying in a while!" Demyx agreed and watched as Axel thought of his first one.

"Mmk, watch this!" Axel turned from Demyx, then back again and had no emotion on his face. "Axel's always making me pay for his food; how unfair."

"Ahaha! Nice one on Roxas. Let's see, my turn…" Demyx looked like he was deep in thought (though he probably wasn't) and then, "Alright! Here we go… Hey, duuuuude. Looks like you got the wrong impression!"

"Ah, that's Xigbar! What a noob." Axel thought of one. "Ok, listen to this one… Your ma's cool…. What the HELL am I saying!" 

"Ummm, no idea." Demyx was confused. He had no idea who that was.

"Oh, wait, I forgot you don't know him." [1]

"So it's my turn!" Demyx turned away, then back again. "I'm so FLATTERED!" He acted as it he exploded in flames while saying this.

"Not cool! But this means I get to do one about you…" Axel smirked the proceeded to run frantically around the room. "Run away! Run away!"

"Hey! I don't always run away!" Demyx pouted.

"Uh-huh, sure. You keep telling yourself that."

Lesson Six: Drunken imitations are usually (painfully) spot-on. Oh well, it's not like you'll remember it in the morning.

[1]Anyone who tells me whose quote this is gets a request. :D


	7. Catch that fridge!

"Hey, Clarise, you're not gonna keep these balloons, right?" Axel looked back at her over his shoulder.

"No; why?" She thought that maybe she really didn't want to know.

"Ohhh, no reason." He grabbed the balloons and ran off. Clarise only shrugged.

"Demyx, look!" Axel ran towards him (and nearly tripped on a rock).

"Whoa, are those…?" He looked hopeful.

"Yes," Axel smirked. "Yes, they are."

~30 minutes later~

Clarise found the guys in her living room. They both had a balloon and Axel was holding the phone between them.

"…Hello?" The speaker on the phone said.

Axel took in some air from the balloon and said in a (freakishly) high voice, "Yes, is your refrigerator running?" Oh yeah, he was drunk. Then again, when wasn't he? ([A/N]: I don't mean that he's an alcoholic, by any means. Sorry if that came across your mind!)

"Ummmm…" That poor man on the other end of the prank call.

Demyx took in some helium and nearly yelled in that high voice, "Well ya better go catch it!"

Lesson Seven: Helium has many practical uses, like for balloons. Breathing it in and prank-calling poor, unsuspecting people shouldn't be one!


End file.
